


With Sufficient Inducement

by Toast_Senpai



Category: The Yogscast
Genre: M/M, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-17 21:58:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13668114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toast_Senpai/pseuds/Toast_Senpai
Summary: Sips thinks Valentine’s Day is stupid. The boys try to treat him to a good time anyway.





	With Sufficient Inducement

This was _not_ where Sips wanted to be on Valentine’s Day. An overcrowded mall at one o’clock in the afternoon was never the ideal place to be on _any_ given day, let alone on what was possibly the worst holiday.

Sips knew he could have turned the boys down. He could have stayed rooted on his island and refused to come to Bristol. But they had begged and offered him a lot of things that he just couldn’t refuse (filthy, dirty, shameful things that he was very much a fan of). So he flew over, and now here he was, trying to walk around all sorts of couples holding hands and ogling overpriced stands set up with garbage no one needed in the middle of the mall.

“Oh my god, move,” Sips huffed under his breath. He sidestepped around two women who were staring at a display of red lingerie on a far too sexy mannequin in Victoria’s Secret.

The hell was her secret anyway? Sips puckered his lips and squinted, ignoring the way Alex was pushing into his right side, urging him to keep walking. What was it about _this_ store that drew women in such droves? Was it not enough to buy a worthless thong and padded bra at Walmart for a few bucks? He snorted and Trott gave him a curious look.

Finally there was a momentary clear path and Ross, elected leader of the group, led them west. It wasn’t until they found an open bench that Sips plopped himself down with a huge sigh.

“This was a really fucking stupid idea,” he complained. It was even too hot to have his coat on, but he didn’t want to be bothered with carrying it around like some loser who shouldn’t have bothered to wear one when it really wasn’t very cold outside.

Ross extracted a small, rectangular booklet from his back jeans pocket and held it in front of Sips, far too close for him to read properly. But judging from the bright pink and red cover he knew it had something to do with this shit holiday.

Alex snatched the booklet and fingered through the pages. He stopped and pointed at it, showing it to Sips as one would a picture book to a child.

“Look at this. Fifty percent off one of those big pretzels. Fifty percent! You _never_ get coupons that are over twenty percent. This is a goddamn steal and we are _definitely_ using it.”

“Okay,” Sips said, “that’s food, but what else is in there? There’s probably some dumb one for a free stuffed animal or some junk like that.” He still didn’t think this trip was worth it, even if the mall pretzels were amazing. In fact, he could totally smell them from where they were sitting.

Trott plucked the booklet from Alex and went to the next page. “Sixty percent off any board game.” He turned to the next. “Twenty percent off a book or magazine.” The next. “Spend fifty bucks on clothes and get twenty free additional dollars in merch.” Another turn. “ _Eighty_ percent off select watches.” He had to lick his finger, but turned another page. “Thirty-five percent off any newest title video game.” Trott stopped and gave Sips a grin. “There are plenty more in here too. There’s like, twenty pages of coupons.”

Sips dramatically rolled his eyes. Somewhere to the left a child screamed, the high pitched wail piercing Sips’ eardrums and giving him an almost instant headache. “And,” he said, “just how did you acquire this magic book of coupons?”

“From Turps,” Ross supplied.

“Yeah, he got them from the guy who owns the mall. But since he’s on some romantic getaway with his wife in Italy he wasn’t going to be around to use them,” Alex said. He grabbed the book back from Trott and shook it. “That’s why _we_ said we’d graciously take it off his hands, since it’s only available to use today. Aren’t we smart?”

Sips stared at Alex. “You’re something all right.”

Trott nudged his shoulder. “Come on, who doesn’t love a good coupon? I’m sure you’ll find something around here that tickles your fancy.”

Sips shook his head. “Yeah, I love a stupid coupon, but I _hate_ being out here.” He motioned to the lines of people, the couples taking selfies and the kids being dragged along to stores they didn’t want to go in. “But this mess drives me nuts. Too many bodies invading my personal space.”

From either side of Sips, Alex and Trott pushed into him.

“Like this?” Alex teased.

“What’s personal space again?” Trott hummed. “I think I’ve forgotten.”

“Fuck _off_ ,” Sips groaned, and both laughed.

Ross pointed to the left. “Should we go get that pretzel now?”

Sips stood up quickly, almost knocking Ross over in the process. He grabbed Ross’ arm and pulled him in close as a man in a wheelchair rolled by next to them. “I thought you’d never ask, baby.”

Ross sputtered and tried to pull back, but Alex and Trott were already pushing him forward into the flow of people. As a group they made their way to the pretzel place, which of course had a line. At least it was a relatively short one.

Sips narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms. “I _guess_ fifty percent off a delicious pretzel is worth waiting for. Fucking dumb though.”

Alex, the bastard, pinched his side. “Why are you so damn cranky?”

“He’s an old man,” Trott said. “It’s past his nap time.”

“Fuck you,” Sips snapped. He smiled, though. “You’re thirty now, Trotty. How’s it feel to join the club?”

Trott pouted. “That was a low blow. I don’t look a day over twenty-one.”

Alex leaned over and ruffled Trott’s fluffy white locks. “Yeah, but if you woulda kept the lego hair you would still look seventeen.”

“Fuck you,” Trott said. “I did not look that young.”

“Young enough to always get side eyed at the pub,” Ross teased.

“Not since I grew out my beard,” Trott said. He rubbed at his chin. “It gives me a much more mature look.”

Sips didn’t make a comment on that because he was sure Trott would hit him if he did.

The line moved, and they were placed in front of the display. Sips stared at the metal baskets of steaming pretzels, salt, and cheese sauce. Damn was he hungry all of a sudden. He ignored whatever bullshit it was Alex rambled on about and watched as a guy behind the glass rolled out a long string of pale dough. He twisted it into the classic pretzel shape and brushed on what was probably melted butter. Off it went to the back where the ovens were.

“Right, Sips?” came the question from Alex.

“Uh-huh, sure, Smiffy,” Sips said. The same guy who had made the pretzel returned with a tray of fresh baked ones. These he slathered in the same butter bath before loading them up with salt.

Fuck, he needed one of those.

“Oh?” Ross’ voice. “So you’re down for it, then?”

“What?” Sips asked and wrenched his eyes away so he could look at the man properly.

Ross was smiling. “After we do some shopping, we have a special place we want to take you. You’ll go, right?”

Sips’ eyes were permanent slits at this point. “Where?”

“That would ruin the surprise,” Trott tsked. “We want to make today special.”

“Yeah,” Alex agreed. “And this place is _pretty_ fuckin’ sweet.”

They seemed serious, but Sips knew these jokers were semi-professional actors and they liked bullshitting him, yanking his chain far too much. Yet, he was intrigued. “Fine, whatever. Not like I’m busy or anything.”

All three had grins that were a little too suspicious. Sips deemed he would deal with it later. Right now was eating time because they were next to order.

The pretzels were steaming hot and the cheese like lava, heat seeping through the container. There was one table available, and Sips made sure to claim it before some other fool could get it. Ross sat next to him. It was somewhat of a tight fit but they made it work.

They unwrapped the largest pretzel Sips had ever been witness to. All four of them tore into it, the fluffy bread ripping easily, sending steam rising. Sips dunked his chunk into a cup of cheese and gave it a quick blow before stuffing it into his mouth. It was so amazing he let out a long, satisfied moan.

“Holy hell, I haven’t had anything this fucking good in ages,” he said after swallowing.

“Sure seems that way,” Trott said.

There was a relatively quiet moment, just the four of them together and the jumbled air of strangers’ muted conversations around. Sips was able to relax.

Only for like, a second though, because the world hated him.

Right in his line of view a couple stopped. They were ridiculously young, probably just stupid teenagers. The boy (because let’s face it, that’s what he was, just a boy) was far taller than what was probably his girlfriend. He was holding up something that looked like a gummy worm because it was that bright duo color of red and green. He dangled it and wagged it around until the girl raised her head like some creepy baby bird and opened her mouth. It was lowered and she chomped at it, only able to get half.

Sips then watched in some sort of sick fascination as the boy put the other half of the candy in his own mouth, only to forcefully push his face towards the girl. They ended up in some sort of gross make out session and Sips grimaced.

“Jesus Christ, I just wanted to enjoy a pretzel and now I get to watch this bullshit,” he complained.

Trott waved his hand. “Dude, just ignore whatever it is.”

“How the fuck can I when literal children are sucking face two feet away?”

“Where?” Alex asked, twisting in his seat. But alas, they couple had moved into the Old Navy they had been standing in front of.

Sips sighed again and jabbed another piece of pretzel into the cheese, sending a splatter of it flying onto the table. This was the shit he absolutely loathed. The PDA, the masses of people, the sales that drew in those masses, the over romanticized baloney of a holiday that celebrated couples and sneered at anyone unfortunate enough to be single. All of it was such overinflated bullcrap.

Alex snapped his fingers in front of Sips and it brought him out of the negative storm he was currently transfixed with. All three men stared at him, slight looks of concern on their handsome faces.

“I’m fine,” Sips drawled. He licked at the salt on his lips. “Thanks for asking.”

“Mate, if you really want to go, we can,” Trott offered.

Sips balled up the empty wrappers. “Not yet. Still gotta use those coupons. Don’t want ‘um to go to waste.” He gave a half smile.

“You sure?” Ross asked.

Sips nodded. “I’ll be okay now that I got some food in me.” He stood, and the others followed suit.

They stuck near Sips but left just enough space between them as to not be overbearing. When they entered a particularly popular area, Trott would take his hand and help guide him through the best route. Alex was chief bag carrier. But when his hands got full, Ross took on the rest.

Sips expected the many clothes stores and places that smelled too strong of flowers and spices, but what he didn’t was the sex shop at the far end towards the very back of the mall. It had definitely replaced a Hot Topic, judging by the painted over brick archway.

It was surprisingly unoccupied, save for just a lone man and two women.

Sips lowered his voice. “How the fuck is a sex shop allowed in a mall?”

“They let Spencer’s in, so I guess a sex store isn’t much worse,” Alex said with a shrug.

“Yeah, but this place sells actual pornos,” Sips commented. They had just passed a rack of DVDs, salacious tits on full display and everything.

“I’m sure they don’t allow children in here unless supervised,” Trott said coolly.

They stopped in front of the lubricant selections and that’s when it hit Sips that something might be up.

“Uh,” he started, but then stopped when Ross pulled out the coupon book and showed Trott what they were supposed to be getting. He closed his mouth. Maybe that’s all this was. Who didn’t need lube anyway? It was one of those things best to be stocked up on.

So he waited, watching as Trott grabbed a few different kinds. Three to be exact. And then they moved down the aisle a few steps where the condoms were.

Sips tried not to look around the store. Alex was to his right, picking up some sort of fist shaped _thing_ that was probably supposed to be a dildo. How wild, what the kids were into these days. Sips wondered why he felt so calm in this place.

“Okay, that should be it,” Trott said. “Time to check out.” He caught Sips’ eyes. “Unless there’s something here you’re interested in?”

“What, you want me to get a ball gag? Is there a coupon for it?” Sips almost laughed.

“No, but there _is_ one for a cock ring.” He held up the coupon, the proof on paper.

“Lord have mercy,” Sips wheezed. “I think I’d rather take some Viagra than use that.”

Their snorted laughter earned them a few glances.

“Let’s just get these and go, then,” Trott said.

The purchase was made, and it was out into the crowds once more. Thankfully not for long, because the list of places to go was quickly running out. They only made two more stops before Ross waved the almost empty coupon booklet.

“Looks like it’s time for the last thing on the list,” Ross said.

“Which is?” Sips hoped it was for some frozen yogurt or something. He was hungry again.

“It’s the surprise,” Alex said. “We shoulda brought a blindfold.”

“For?” Sips didn’t know if he liked where this was going.

“So that you won’t know where we’re going,” Alex finished. “It’s actually not very far from here.”

Sips tried to think of what might be in the area. Possibly a movie theater? Or a restaurant of some sort? He could really go for some pasta right about now.

“I _can_ just close my eyes, if you really want it to be that much of a secret,” Sips said.

“Promise not to peek?” Trott asked as they made their way to the mall exit.

“I promise.”

Outside was blindingly bright, sun reflecting off the snow. He was thankful for his coat as the wind blew against them.

He sat in the back of Alex’s car with Trott, eyes shut. It was like taking a mini nap, so he was okay with it. He expected a much longer drive than roughly five minutes though, so when they stopped and someone got out, he was very confused.

“Ross’ll be just a second,” Trott assured him. He found Sips’ hand and squeezed it.

Sips didn’t understand the reason for the touch, but he didn’t exactly trust it. He was tempted to open his eyes, see where they were, though he wasn’t one for breaking promises. He kept them shut.

Indeed it wasn’t long before Ross came back, and Alex drove the car slowly to what was probably a parking spot.

“Can I see what this is all about now?” Sips asked.

“Not yet,” Trott said. “Come on, I’ll lead you in.”

Sips really wondered where this could be. Surely not too public a spot for him to be taken in blind, right? It was quite exciting though, despite it all. He let Trott pull him along.

The sound of a door, one like that on a house, was opened. Sips was let inside where it was comfortably warm.

“Now?” Sips requested.

“All right,” Trott agreed. “Go ahead.”

Sips blinked his eyes open, not expecting to find himself in a motel room. Especially not one that looked like _this._

It was not quite like anything he had seen in a long time. In fact, it reminded him of the shitty motels in Canada he’d sometimes stay at in the nineties, when quality wasn’t exactly the highest standard on the list when paying less than fifty bucks for a night.

The carpet was literally like something out of Chuck E Cheese, navy blue with colorful neon squiggles and stars. But what caught his attention was the pink, heart shaped tub in the corner of the small room that was accompanied by a paneled mirror ceiling.

Speaking of mirrors. There was a half circle one acting as the headboard for some strange reason.

Sips couldn’t find words to describe this. It had to be some sort of joke, right?

“So, what do you think of our honeymoon suite?” Alex asked. He held out his arms and flopped back onto the king sized bed. “Half off a night’s stay!”

“ _This_ is the surprise?” Sips stepped in further. “We’re all going to stay here for the night, instead of me at the Marriot like always?” He really didn’t know what to feel. Maybe a bit flabbergasted. Or a lot. Probably a lot. This place didn’t exactly look clean. Well, not the type of clean he was used to seeing at hotels.

“Uh, yeah,” Trott said. He motioned toward the tub. “The Marriot doesn’t have _that_ beauty, now does it?”

Sips frowned. “Well, no, I don’t think any of the rooms have a heart tub.”

“It’s not a tub, it’s a Jacuzzi!” Ross said. “Has jets and everything. Very sensual.”

This sure was a place. Sips took a step backwards towards the door. “Boys, I’d love to stay, but my clothes are back at the office-”

“Nope, we put them in the car when you were distracted,” Alex said. He sat up, looking far too content and languid, all stretched out.

Sips turned, but Ross was somehow behind him now. Ross held up the bag from the sex shop. “We can’t let this lube go unused, now can we?”

“There are _three_ bottles in there,” Sips reminded him.

“Should we have gotten a forth? One for each of us?” Ross stuck his hand in and pulled one out. He read the label aloud. “Strawberry flavor. Should be good.” He held it up with a grin like he was selling fucking toothpaste.

It finally clicked in Sips’ brain what this was all about, why he’d been brought here. It definitely was a surprise. He let his shoulders drop and shuffled over to the small, purple chair next to an equally small, purple table.

“Whatever. I guess a night won’t hurt.” He really hoped there wasn’t any noticeable excitement in his voice. He hated giving these guys any satisfaction like that.

“That’s the spirit.” Alex threw out a thumbs up and a wink. Sips rolled his eyes.

Trott sauntered over with that _look_ Sips knew all too well. He was kissed sweetly on the mouth.

“You’re not even going to take me out to dinner first?” Sips asked when Trott pulled away.

“Sorry, darling, but we’re a bunch of cheap bastards.” Another kiss, this one to Sips’ cheek. “You’ll just have to take what we give you.”

“We _do_ have a lot of chocolate,” Alex reminded. “The good stuff too.”

“Don’t want it,” Sips said. He brought Trott back in for another kiss, this one much deeper.

“What about a soak?” Ross proposed. He wiggled his eyebrows. “We even brought bubble bath.”

Sips hummed. “How about Trotty here just sucks me off instead?”

Alex whined, “That’s not exactly a group activity.”

“Isn’t it?” Sips put a hand on Trott’s shoulder and kneaded it. “You two get a free show.” His smiled widened. “Or you can all just take turns.”

“Now _there’s_ a plan,” Trott said. He kneeled in front of Sips and brushed his bangs out of his eyes. Then he looked up at Sips. “You ready for the best Valentine’s Day ever?”

Sips sat back, got as comfortable as he could. “The only thing that could make this better is some pizza.”

Alex took out his phone, thumbs tapping away. “What do you want from Dominos?”

Now _this_ is what Sips called a good day. “The fuckin’ pacific veggie of course.” He put a finger under Trott’s chin. “I think we’ll have enough meat for the night, eh?”

It took them far too long to stop laughing.


End file.
